Okay it seems some might be curious and think I shouldn't be reading with that much depth or I should have some other pattern of clinical learning /experience! Well they might be right in their given circumstances and parameters, but my situation/background may not be match with their.
I have spend a lots of time in US system of medical profession, studied with sitting along with NYU med student, resident etc, while preparing for USMLE Step 3 and working as clinical research fellow, so my habits and instincts adjust with their orientations and parameters. When I study or do involve in medical practice my mind set with their standers and objectives, I compare myself with them when assessing quality and achievement in a given task. This might not be very sensible/rational thing to do for anyone in such situation like mine, but thing is you can't be defeated unless you yourself accept your defeat! And I haven't accepted that I wasn't eligible to work as physician in US, so I don't feel any reason to adopt anything different!
Honestly I don't try to pertained or be someone, its just I have acquired certain pattern/behavior and unintentionally I keep following it until I adopt something better than that!
So...........
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